I've been around this seemingly cruel planet for just over 24 years and this is the first time I am dabbling in blog writing, its quite amazing how people manage to put their thoughts and more importantly "feelings" out in the open with such ease. For a nube blogger like me it feels a little unnerving but its about time I tried this shit out and see what the fuss is all about.. first hand.
So what is it that has finally brought me to this juncture that I need to put down my feelings on paper (yeesh, I cant believe I actually said tht).. this lil something called quarter life crisis.
For the uninitiated simply put its the ongoing struggle between ‘I could probably be good if I tried’ and ‘Who am I kidding here?’.
This is why self-awareness is overrated. All it means is that you become even more aware of your insecurities and even more paralyzed by them. In the meantime, the people around you who are unaware of themselves are able to delude themselves into thinking that they’re hot shit, and on that basis go out and rock the market.
This also dooms any attempt to break out of a funk through self-examination and attempting to discover my strengths, because all that does is lead you to discover even more weaknesses.
You might say.. hell you have that figured out then whats the fuss all about. It doesn't end there, realization unfortunately is not the cure, realization doesn't seem to change the fact that I am still my own biggest critic and now I seem to have acquired a keen sense of over analyzing situations. What will I be doing 2 years down the line, will I be dependent on my parents retirement fund to pay the next installment on my 1986 Maruti 800 (Cheapest car available on Indian roads) or will I come out with the next big business plan and break the bank.. and I answer myself, you're a worthless bum and will probably end up taking customer service calls from dumb westerners like Bert cuz he's having a tough time figuring out what he's supposed to insert in the DVD tray of his latest Dell SX 500 for all your life.
Hi I'm Vincent Martinez (pseudo name) thank you for calling Dell computers, I'm going to be your desktop assistance specialist for today. How could I be of assistance to you? I'd just set right in...
Right at the heels of discovering the "three quarters empty glass syndrome" I might still have hope..
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3 comments:
u seem to have done quite a bit of research on urself vin;)....!!....but this is some piece of creativity from the man himself:P
but m hoping next time arnd whn old daddy drinks the writings spurn arnd "a glass of beer, anytime anywhr...luv to be 20":)
can relate it easily to it... going thru the same...
=appu
well from being totally bottom of the barrel someone seems to have started floating towards the top.in ur doubt i also see some confidence in urself which u are claiming to have lost.what i read is an entry of a guy who became a big success story &just because life was moving v fast before with lots of breaks coming ur way and it has slowed down for a bit u r feeling like u arestagnanting n are overanalysing..
all i know is that i dont have a friend with a fatter pay package and more good things to look forward to in the future,like his own thing &a chance to make another 3fold increase in his package.
he complains of answering calls but 70% of India is in the service sector n is busy doing things on the same line.all d big shot IT co ppl who worked so hard to get into d best eng institutes n were so glad to be dealing in the US r going to feel really bad after reading ur blog.
i dont know where all this doubt comes from bcoz all i can see is a bright young guy who still has to see his dreams come true..
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